BUSY….THINKING OF YOU

The poem in this post is taken completely to the extreme and over exaggerated…but I hope conveys a point.   I have been “too busy” to do things but ARE we “too busy” or do we just prioritize differently?  Some messages get lost in technological flow. But what about those that are just ignored? Do you ever feel ignored?  I am betting “feeling ignored” may be more prevalent now than it was a decade ago simply because of the social media connectivity we experience.  The key is to be “too busy” to feel ignored😉

So I send you a text

Thinking of you

How have you been?

I wait for a reply

Meanwhile you have  

Liked 123 pictures on Instagram               

Made 12 witty Tweets

Been to 2 parties

Checked in on Facebook

Uploaded 150 party photos

Tagged said photos

Three days later…love you too

Sorry I have been busy

74 thoughts on “BUSY….THINKING OF YOU

  1. It really bugs me when some one replies back with such a screwy statement- “I’ve been busy.” A friend of mine, even dared to send me a reply- “I didn’t feel like replying back earlier.”

    Like

  2. “I am betting “feeling ignored” may be more prevalent now than it was a decade ago simply because of the social media connectivity we experience.” – this is so true. Years ago we waited for a letter, or we asked someone to leave a message next to the phone and we waited for them to get home. Now, if we’ve sent a text, FB message, tweet, IM, whatever – we know they have their phone and take it personally if we don’t have an instant reply. and we can see what they have been doing online in preference to replying! too much information can be a bad thing.

    I am terrible for feeling ignored (i am super-paranoid and uber-insecure!) but i try to learn that some people take longer than others to answer and some people keep in touch more than others.

    Like

  3. Modern society has a problem distinguishing needs and wants. Eating, sleeping, and using the bathroom are all you really have to do. The local mental ward won’t commit you for being severely depressed and a danger to yourself as long as you keep doing these 3 things, speak in a calm tone of voice, and don’t lock yourself in a closet like some famous celebrity having a nervous breakdown.

    Here’s an example of social compulsion. I remember someone once telling me how she dreaded visiting her relatives at Thanksgiving but she “had to”. I balked, “What do you mean you have to? Just don’t go. I don’t.”

    Like

  4. I personally avoid keeping friends because they’re never available when I need them, but when I did have friends I usually preferred the people who didn’t have a lot of other friends because they were always available for me. What good is a friend who can’t spend time with you? I’m needy.

    Like

    • I just realized that anyone who has a blog (like us) is basically starved for attention. I realized this after changing something about my blog today and then being disappointed that I only got 1 extra “Like” for the change. I realized it also after you responded individually to 4 comments I made even though I am a complete stranger.

      — I appreciated it, but it’s a shame you had all that time on your hands. I think we’re both guilty. —

      It’s really pathetic not being able to connect with another human being in a way that I find meaningful and resorting to restricted, artificial technological environments as a placebo. Of course, it’s not like I had great luck in high school or college either, but there were at least a few more opportunities than I find in adulthood.

      Like

      • It’s not funny. It’s tragic. Well, parts of the movie are funny, but Steve Buscemi as a lonely loser who collects old jazz records isn’t.

        Hello from my pod. How’s your pod over there? You know in olden times people had face-to-face conversations, but personally I suck at those so this is probably better anyway.

        Like

  5. What confuses me about normal people is that they are capable of face-to-face communication and yet choose this computer garbage.

    If I was better at face-to-face communication, I surely wouldn’t waste time on this computer garbage (I.e. what I’m doing right now).

    Like

    • That’s easy for you to say. You were apparently strong enough to acquire a husband and a child, and you know being female helps too because men are the more aggressive gender. Random strangers don’t approach me and start conversations.

      This computer isn’t helping my loneliness. It’s only keeping my mind occupied.

      Like

    • Is there an analogy in real life for an interaction like this, some place where I could be a real person instead of a fictional character?

      Poetry readings are done on stage. There’s no interaction.

      Maybe I could join a book club, except that would require a lot of reading. I’d need like a magazine article club or something.

      Like

      • Ugh. You are too positive. Can you not imagine this conversation might be more fulfilling if you were having it in real life with someone at a coffee shop? (I don’t mean with me. I’m not coming on to you. I’m just saying.)

        There’s no connection on these blogs. That’s the problem. I feel like a brain in a jar. I think blogs are a good way to vent ideas, but it’s not real. This is like the Matrix, a dream world.

        I’m not young. I’m 34.

        I had a groove. It fell apart because the world is full of idiots, and I don’t have the self-control to tolerate their stupidity in silence. I like co-workers (some of the time). I hate management (most of the time), but my co-workers are all held in captivity by management.

        Like

        • 34 is young? How the hell old are you? You can’t be too far from my age.

          Who said anything about a “date”. You’re married, remember. Let’s keep this civil. LOL 🙂

          Like

        • 34 is young? How the hell old are you? You can’t be too far from my age.

          Who said anything about a “date”. You’re married, remember. Let’s keep this civil. LOL 🙂 I don’t want this conversation to be read over the news 6 months from now when your husband is on trial for murdering me.

          “What happens when blog comments go too far?” would be the headline.

          Like

        • You probably take it for granted when your husband tells you this, but you look young in the pictures you post on this site (in case you are embarrassed about your age).

          That’s two things I think I know about women. They don’t want to get old, and they take their husbands opinions for granted.

          Like

        • I swear that people piss me off. If 34 is young then 94 is young because human beings are filth that will only ever make it to a certain limited level of development, and everyone develops at a different rate.

          I’m done wasting time on you. On to the next one…

          Like

          • I am not sure I follow this comment but I guess we are only as young as we feel? I dunno sometimes I feel young and sometimes I feel old…not that it much matters since it isn’t something we can change really. I don’t feel the same way about humanity as you do but I do get discouraged with my views of society in general. You seem a lot like my husband he often times gets angry and holds the same views you do.

            Like

            • To explain, I was annoyed that you’re being condescending by calling me young. It does matter, because I have a certain set of experiences I’ve had in life, and they form the foundation of all my thoughts and opinions. In calling me young, you are discrediting them.

              There’s one big difference between me and your husband. I don’t believe in marriage, because I’m not quite sure if the human race should reproduce itself.

              Like

              • I see…young to me means something completely different so it wasn’t meant condescending. When I say young it doesn’t mean you have a lot of growing up to do which would be condescending. For some reason when I read your blog I thought I had read you were 23 so I meant there was no rush in meeting someone. We just have different perspectives

                Like

              • Okay, but that meaning of young is still a little depressing for me. So, you’re saying there are still lots of possibilities in life for me, right? For a normal person, there might be.

                But normal people are a little more greedy, a little more dishonest, and a little more submissive than I am, which helps them get “jobs”.

                Normal people are also a little hornier than I am, which helps them date. I know sex is a bad idea — it’s simple logic — and I know finding a cuddle buddy who isn’t some disgusting loser is pretty much impossible, so I have no real motivation to date. I just sometimes fantasize about dating someone when I get really bored.

                Basically, I’ve figured out that I don’t fit into modern society very well. I never did. I’ve been living in denial my whole life. I’m finally being honest with myself now.

                I would still accept a certain type of job. My resume’s still posted, but most employers can see from my work history that I’m trouble ahead of time, so the only people who contact me are idiot recruiters who have absolutely no comprehension of my skills and would just waste my time.

                Sometimes I wish I was a woman so I could marry a rich man.

                Like

              • The first post you Like’d on my blog was the one about bullying. Do you see how I responded to that guy’s criticism in other comments on this page? That’s what I’m talking about. That’s how I deal with bullies.

                I actually used to keep my mouth shut when I was younger. I kept all the anger bottled up inside. It was only in my mid 20s that I got fed up.

                “A decade ago
                I never thought I would be
                At 23 on the verge of spontaneous combustion
                Whoa is me
                But I guess that it comes with the territory
                An ominous landscape of never-ending calamity”

                “Pardon Me” by Incubus

                Actually, I think it might have been 25 for me.

                Like

            • You know, when I see a 20-year-old, I don’t think of that person as “young”, because I’m not an insecure and condescending person.

              My mother always taught me that wisdom comes from youth, because old people are stuck in their ways.

              Like

            • I’m trying to figure out why it is that only guys and married women read my blog. I know. It’s because most women over 30 are married, and 20-year-olds aren’t cynical enough to appreciate my ideas anyway.

              Like

            • I have a narcissistic fantasy of dating a woman (who’s not married and) who’s personality is almost exactly like my own, except she’s also pretty good looking.

              I said it was a fantasy.

              Like

            • You know, if you don’t stop responding to these, this blog page is going to be flooded with these comments, because my brain never stops.

              This conversation should really happen in private, except that I don’t believe married women should have male friends (even fake Internet ones), because I’m sexist and controlling, and I want to follow the Golden Rule (as it applies to being sexist and controlling) with other people’s women.

              Like

      • I think the world needs (legal) prostitutes who keep their clothes on, someone you can pay $20 for an hour-long conversation with a complimentary hug and $5 for each additional hug. It would be great for people who are starved for attention.

        I know how to fix the world in so many ways. I just need to get people to listen.

        Like

        • Maybe I should go to a bar and hold up a sign that says, ‘I’ll pay you $20 to talk to me.” and see what kind of reaction it gets out of people. LOL 🙂

          Like

      • Wait. Katy Perry sings a song about this.

        I don’t have to feel like a waste of space.
        I’m original, cannot be replaced.
        If I only knew what the future holds.
        After a hurricane comes a rainbow.

        The problem is I’ve already lived my dream. I already showed ’em what I was worth like a firework as I shot across the sky, sky, sky, but the dream didn’t last as long as I intended.

        Like

      • A thing I notice about people is if you ever tell them you’re feeling bad, they never give any useful advice. It’s always empty, baseless statements like “I’m sure things will get better.” and “Good luck.” which only wastes my time.

        On that note, you ever want a $15 conversation, try going to a Denny’s and sitting at the bar. The waitress may talk to you while you’re eating. It happened to me in three different states (California and some Midwestern states I lost track of while driving across the country).

        Like

        • Yeah, what I need is someone to listen to me talk for a while that doesn’t cost $1000/hour at a brothel in Nevada. I hear strippers might listen, but there’s no physical contact at all — cuddling makes conversations better — and I think that might still cost $50 – $100.

          I don’t dare start conversations with strangers in public places. They usually end awkwardly within a few minutes unless there’s some other reason to be in the situation, and I have no good reason to be in most social situations.

          Like

        • It’s easier for women here also.

          If a woman is socially awkward, people just call her strange or shy.

          If a guy does something socially awkward, people might call him creepy.

          Like

    • Maybe I should go to a support group for cancer patients under false pretenses, like the main character in “Fight Club”, but that would be unethical.

      Wait. I’m unemployed. I bet there are support groups for unemployed people.

      Or maybe I could go to an atheist meeting and spend an hour not worshiping anything.

      Like

    • I really just need a job. I used to have co-workers who would pay attention to the sounds that came out of my mouth, and I didn’t have to type or spell-check anything.

      Like

  6. Holy crap. Here’s some non-condescending advice, Mr. Chiglinsky.
    1) You don’t have friends because you don’t want to have to work to get them. You don’t want to have to work for anything else, either.
    2) You are single because you rush everything, and don’t take the time to appreciate anything – which again stems from not wanting to work for anything, and also a desire for instant gratification.
    3) I can see where most women would find you threatening.
    4) Final bit of advice – relationships are exactly like everything else in the world – you get better at them the more practice you get. YET AGAIN, with your desire for instant gratification and your unwillingness to work for anything, you will be sitting alone forever, screaming at the world about why things aren’t happening for you, if you don’t change this and work on it immediately.

    Like

    • I think the “work” you’re referring to is being fake and pretentious. No, I purposely do not do that type of “work”. I don’t believe in it. I’m real and honest, and it’s too bad that most people can’t handle that.

      Like

    • As for relationships, I once put in 4 months of phone conversations to get someone on the Internet to meet me. That’s work. It was very frustrating.

      Then when I met her she didn’t look like her picture, and she lied about some other things too. There’s no point working for something if there’s no payoff for it.

      Also, some people have a natural talent for socialization, and other people don’t. It’s like singing or anything else. You can’t just make yourself good at everything by practice. If you think you can, then you’re a deluded fool, and you’re probably not as good at those things you “work” for as you think you are.

      Go check out that guy on “X Factor” who sang that song about a “cotton candy girl”. He supposedly worked hard, and he was horrible.

      Like

    • What gets you places in life isn’t work. It’s personality. Personality gets you jobs. Personality gets you promotions. Personality gets you women.

      It doesn’t matter how hard I work. Without personality, which is an innate characteristic, I have a much less chance at success in society.

      Like

    • Not all women find me threatening. Ugly chicks dig me (but I don’t dig ugly chicks).

      A couple homely women have said “Hi” to me out of the blue at my local grocery store in the past few months, but I had no interest in them. It’s the story of my life. Every so often an ugly female comes along and seems to pay more attention to me than I normally would expect, and I’m pretty sure it’s her version of flirting, because it never happens with the attractive ones.

      Wow. I mean, it’s like everything you said about me is the opposite of reality. Do you have a tendency to jump to conclusions in your own life? I’m not going to assume you do. I’m just asking.

      Like

    • As for being threatening, you haven’t met me in person. My body language comes off very timid, like an innocent child. That’s one of the reasons I said face-to-face meetings are more real than this computer garbage.

      — Of course, women don’t find that attractive. They want a big, strong lumberjack. —

      The prostitute I visited in a Nevada brothel didn’t find me threatening. I asked her to put on a simple no-contact show from several feet away — I won’t go into detail — and she’s the one who asked me to join in.

      I like prostitutes. They’re honest. You pay them, and they give you what you ask for. There are no games. It doesn’t even have to be sex. It could be cuddling. The only problem is that they are expensive and only legal in one state.

      Although, there is some woman charging money for cuddling in New York I think. It was in the news a while back. She’s like a cuddle whore. I at first thought it was kind of dirty, but life changes.

      Like

    • I mean Jesus Christ. When you say I don’t want to “work”, you have no idea how much effort I’ve put into advancing the skill of my craft (software development) in my spare time. Maybe it’s more than some people and less than others, but it’s often nothing anyone asked me to do. I have the passion and the ambition to do it myself.

      This, once again, is why comments are disabled on my blog. I can’t spend time arguing with idiots all day.

      Like

    • Personally, I find the entire human race threatening. You can never tell how much you can really trust anyone, which is why I normally keep people at a safe distance and primarily only depend on them for raw survival.

      Unlike most men, I don’t try to trick women into trusting me to get them into bed. People know ahead of time who I am, with full disclosure, and they can walk the other way if they want.

      Like

    • It’s actually pretty hilarious that you think accusing me of _appearing_ threatening is a criticism, when many men actually are threatening. They are manipulative, they use women for sex, lie about being in love with them, and then cheat on them. — One of my mom’s ex-boyfriends is a good example. —

      I, on the other hand, deny the lie that is sex. It’s written all over my blog. I deny the lie that is the dating game as well, because it’s ultimately all about sex.

      The person who tells the truth is the threat? What upside down world is this?

      Like

    • I feel like I have the same conversations and get the same bad advice over and over again throughout life. That’s why I usually don’t talk to people anymore. It’s so monotonous.

      Like

    • Instant gratification is not automatically bad. There’s nothing wrong with skipping past the games people play. People sometimes make life more difficult than it has to be. Different rules apply to different situations.

      But really what this is about, which you for some reason can’t see, is fear of commitment. People are emotionally dangerous, and they are a hassle. Just look at how much of a hassle you are.

      Friends are not impossible, but they are inconvenient. Right now, if I were to acquire some friends, those friends would only be useful while I’m unemployed. Once I’m able to find a job again, my job and co-workers will take enough of my time that I no longer would need the outside friends.

      Really, what I’m missing right now, oh presumptuous idiot, is a job. Everything was in balance when I had a job.

      Like

    • Do you know how you can spot a bully? A bully butts into other people’s conversations simply to put someone else down in order to make himself feel better, because the bully has low self-esteem.

      — Most of the criticism you will find on my own blog is about problems that other people cause me. I have little interest in criticizing how other people live their own lives. —

      My socialization should not be a problem for you. The only reason you stuck your nose in and tried to criticize me is because you wanted a way to feel better about your lowly self.

      Like

    • Oh, but here’s yet another great contradiction to your ignorant accusation of me seeking instant gratification.

      I develop computer software. You have no idea how long it takes to get one small piece of functionality working in a piece of software, but ordinary people don’t understand this. They just think you can create a fully-functioning application in a few days or a few weeks. Try a few months, maybe a few years, and I have that patience. Software development is a careful and precise inch-by-inch process, and it often frustrates me when business people pressure me to go faster.

      But you don’t know me at all. I go slow when slow is good. I go fast when fast is good. Society is silly. I’d like to change it. — Ever heard of a cuddle party? — I don’t accept the current state of the world at face value like some weak conformist.

      Like

    • I also wonder if you are aware that people hug in Christian churches sometimes, people who barely know each other, because hugging is an innocent act that _human beings_ can find warm and fulfilling even with complete strangers. The world might be a better place with more hugs.

      So, do you think you’re a good person if you wait 3 weeks before having sex with a woman? I don’t, because I don’t think you should have sex _at all_ unless you’re planning to raise a child with her. Do you got that? NO SEX!

      It’s amazing the number of ways your criticism of me is wrong. I’m a lonely, unemployed guy seeking a friend, and you try to belittle me. Are you the Devil?

      Like

      • “It’s amazing the number of ways your criticism of me is wrong. I’m a lonely, unemployed guy seeking a friend, and you try to belittle me. Are you the Devil?”

        Seeking a friend? It looks more like you’re trying to attack the very idea of friendship, while at the same time attacking an innocent bystander. You are so misguided, you can’t even remember what you wrote earlier today, even as recently as 2 HOURS AGO:

        Matthew Chiglinsky says:
        “Friends are not impossible, but they are inconvenient. Right now, if I were to acquire some friends, those friends would only be useful while I’m unemployed. Once I’m able to find a job again, my job and co-workers will take enough of my time that I no longer would need the outside friends.”
        “I don’t believe married women should have male friends (even fake Internet ones)”
        “Who ever said I wanted friends? I literally don’t want friends.”

        It’s amazing the level of denial you have attained.

        And you want “belittle”? Okay.
        Matthew Chiglinsky says:
        “What confuses me about normal people is that they are capable of face-to-face communication and yet choose this computer garbage.”
        “You were apparently strong enough to acquire a husband and a child, and you know being female helps too because men are the more aggressive gender.”
        “Ugh. You are too positive.”
        “I swear that people piss me off.
        I’m done wasting time on you. On to the next one…”
        “Sometimes I wish I was a woman so I could marry a rich man.”
        “Of course you believe in humanity. Your maternal instinct necessitates it.”
        “except that I don’t believe married women should have male friends (even fake Internet ones), because I’m sexist and controlling”
        “Every so often an ugly female comes along and seems to pay more attention to me than I normally would expect, and I’m pretty sure it’s her version of flirting, because it never happens with the attractive ones.”

        Yeah, you’re a real people person, aren’t you. Here’s a project for you: develop a software program in your brain that prevents you from being a complete dick. See you in 18 months.

        Like

  7. You have no idea what you’re talking about, “Edward”.

    Who ever said I wanted friends? I literally don’t want friends. There’s a post on my blog that describes why.

    You’re out of your mind when you say I don’t want to work. I put more passion and effort into my work than many sloppy co-workers I’ve had in the past.

    You once again have no idea what you’re talking about when you say I want instant gratification. I eat healthy, and I never indulge in pleasure. I used to exercise, with great endurance. I don’t drink or smoke, like most normal people.

    Women want to play games. Sex is a game, a pointless game. Yes, people find my brutal honesty threatening, because most people are liars.

    You think you know me by reading a few things I’ve written on a blog? Now that’s jumping to conclusions.

    Like

    • Hastywords,

      Just came across this – loved your post! Sorry to see that this guy got so weird on your site, but glad to see how well Edward addressed the issue. Matthew appears to be an incredible HYPOCRITE. He posts nasty stuff here he does not accept comments on his site. If he lived up to the principles that he professes he’d open his site to comments or he would stop posting crap on yours.

      Anyway – sorry to detract from the main focus. Your poem really captured something all too sadly true of our times.

      Like

  8. This is why people stay away from you. You disable your comments because you can’t take criticism. You have no life. Sure, people will say hello when they first meet you, or if you pay them. But without money, or after 5 minutes of conversation, they don’t want anything to do with you.

    In closing, can you please go fuck up your life on your own blog? By the way, I’m not visiting your blog, because you need to get used to not getting what you want.

    Like

  9. Have you noticed that Hastywords has stopped responding to you? Obviously not. She is my friend. You know why she is my friend? Because I took the time to know her, and she took the time to know me. What I did NOT do is come on here with a crapload of insane spam comments, punctuated by insults and childish behavior. Like this:

    I’m done wasting time on you
    *makes 974508245 more comments*
    I’m done with this garbage.
    *makes 98452837491 more comments*

    You admit that you don’t fit into society – a decision that you made, by the way – but your mistake is that you then act like it’s society’s fault, that you are right and everyone else is wrong. Have you noticed that you just keep talking and talking? This is because you are desperately trying to convince yourself that your position is somehow correct.

    I am not a bully – just brutally honest. If I was a bully, I would mock you mercilessly for being a 34-year-old male who listens to Katy Perry.

    I will say it one more time – you have chosen the position you are in. It can be changed, but you have to change it. Be an adult, take responsibility for your own life, and stop blaming everyone else for your problems.

    Instead of responding with another billion comments, how about you go collect your thoughts and make just one. You say things like a software engineer – one soundbite at a time, hoping that at the end of all the soundbites, hopefully some sort of usable product will emerge. This is not the way.

    Like

  10. It is the best time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy.
    I’ve read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you few interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you could write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read more things about it!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s