A vaccine is a biological preparation that improves immunity to a particular disease. A vaccine typically contains an agent that resembles a disease-causing microorganism and is often made from weakened or killed forms of the microbe, its toxins or one of its surface proteins. The agent stimulates the body’s immune system to recognize the agent as foreign, destroy it, and keep a record of it, so that the immune system can more easily recognize and destroy any of these microorganisms that it later encounters.~Wikipedia
Hardly a moment goes by that I don’t hear about a child being sexually abused. Am I the only person who grew up unmolested? What would you do if you found out one of your friends was a sexual predator? What would you do if you found out someone in your family was sexually abusing someone?
I hate to even count how many people I know personally who have had to answer this question. On more than one occasion; I found out someone I know personally was an abuser. Once the disbelief wears off there is almost always outrage and anger, then a need and desire to do something to stop these horrible crimes from ever happening again. Then reality sets in and you realize how overwhelming the problem is.
Sexual abuse needs to be confronted before the abuse happens but it is difficult because it is like an invisible virus going unnoticed until the symptoms of infection occur and by then it is too late; by then, abuse has already occurred. As a society we create organizations to help survivors the best we can Stop Child Predators.org/ , and we enact laws that punish abusers FBI Sex Offender Registry . Can we vaccinate our society from sexual predators and keep them from assaulting in the first place?
I hope you are not reading this hoping for answers. I don’t have any. Sadly, it is hard for me to trust anyone. I know some of the best manipulators hold great power in society and it has changed how I teach my daughter. For instance, she knows just being a police officer, a teacher, a bus driver, or a doctor doesn’t make a person good. In fact, if she ever gets lost I taught her to find a family with kids to ask for help, not a security guard or police officer. It’s my own insecurity that keeps me from giving too much trust to anyone in a position of power; because that is where I believe many abusers tend to camouflage themselves. I tend to participate in churches and doctor offices that institute rules frowning on closed doors and one on one alone time.
It is hard to think about eradicating child predators without thinking of the Salem Witch Trials. It would suck to be falsely accused and I think, as a society, we are AFRAID of falsely accusing anyone of anything. We can’t do anything without proof. Or can we? In my opinion we can make it harder for predators, not just with laws but with knowledge and communication. We can listen better and be more observant. We can start by focusing on creating better ways for people to get the mental health help they need.
I read somewhere than nearly 33% of children have been abused. What the actual hell? You know, as well as I do, that if the recorded number is 33% it is actually much higher because many times the abuse is kept a secret. I counted 6 different instances in the news where cameras caught an abuser on video surveillance in the last month alone. In each of those instances the perpetrator would have gone unpunished had it not been for the surveillance. It really does take a village. I see kids too young walking home alone after school, or riding bikes by themselves in the neighborhood, and have read so many stories of children neglected. These children are at a higher risk for abuse because they long for someone to pay attention. Children need all of us to keep them safe.
I don’t know how to stop sexual predators and it is really difficult to accuse someone if all you have is a gut feeling. I know because I have been there. If you suspect someone the best place to start is with a conversation that doesn’t focus on them or accuse them in anyway. Conversations that start with, “I can’t believe that story I saw on the news”, along with your thoughts and views and maybe even verbalizing a wish that the person (on the news) had sought help and maybe throwing in a great mental health practitioner that you know that has helped someone else you know. Sometimes, being that compassionate person who believes help can be had is enough for someone who struggles with these problems (addictions, obsessions, diseases, or whatever they are) to get help. Anything is worth a shot right??? And then keep a hyper vigilant eagle eye on them.
Maybe these links will be useful… knowledge holds power!
1. Resistant to therapy
2. Multiple victims likely
3. Inwardly a coward
4. Lack of boundaries
5. Master manipulator.
6. High need to control
7. Blames others
8. Strong adherence to the patriarchal form of family
9. May prefer different types of victims
10. May have a personality prone to narcissism
11. May have other abusive tendencies
MY VOICE IS LOUDER
Mixed emotions concoct a deadly potion
Holding me captive inside their secrets
It won’t do anybody any good to out them
Since they can no longer cause hurt
But I think often of these evil fiends
Who feed off the innocent; stealing youth
They wore so many disguises, I am a fool
They were a brilliant mask of propriety
And scripted their betrayal with clever lies
The proper branding of men so clever
Would be sociopath, social deceivers
We laughed together, cried together
Disagreed, helped and played together
But their eyes were simply and plainly
Aiding and abetting the predator inside
If I knew then what I know now
I’d have done things differently
I would have saved your families
From your destruction, somehow
I would have saved all those girls
From their countless painful cries
I am on to the likes of you now
I won’t be deceived again, no way
My voice is stronger than theirs
And trust me when I say
I will use it each and EVERY day
Originally published 06-12-14