LEVITATION, GROPING, AND BAGGY CAMO PANTS

I hope everyone enjoys the posts Sage and I have planned for you regarding my vacation to Boston.  We hope that you will feel like you were a part of the experience.  Many people have some crazy ideas about us, about our decision to meet up and, maybe because it seemed so natural and innocent to us, we didn’t make it very clear.  My hope is that you will see great friends becoming greater friends through these posts and, while I am aware that people will believe what they want to believe, I hope you believe beautiful things and not sinister things.  Sage started this post off while I was asleep and I finished it… ENJOY!

SAGE:

Hasty and I decided to break the details of her visit up into four posts, but I’m making it five, beginning with this one.  I can’t get her opinion on it because she’s probably sleeping.  But sad to say, she’s not sleeping upstairs because we brought her home yesterday morning.  We all got up at 3:30 am and left by 4 to drive her to Logan Airport.  She and HastyKid have since arrived home safely, but exhausted.
The four posts will be (titles TBD):

Boston
Hampton Beach, NH
Wachusett Mountain and Our Day About Town
The End
Until then, here are some interesting things about Hasty:
I never saw her use the toilet, and that’s not perverted, what I mean is that I never saw her go in there.  Not at my place anyway.  However whenever we went out, she took the opportunity to use it whenever she could and often sought out public restrooms.  What’s wrong with my toilet Hasty?  I’m just kidding, we do have one upstairs and one downstairs, I’m thinking she only went upstairs.  I just never saw her do it.  Which brings me to another point.  I never saw her in the morning without makeup.  I’d never hear any sound indicating that she got up, and then mysteriously she would appear at the bottom of the stairs dressed and made up.  My floors creak when people walk around upstairs, so how she managed to do this is beyond me.  I think she levitates.  HastyKid levitates too.  First HK would appear, then Hasty was soon to follow.  I mean, even when they said they were going to shower, I didn’t hear it.  I don’t know, maybe they’re not human.  Now that I’m thinking of it, there was a point when HastyKid told me she was a robot.  And I know she was serious because she was deadpan when she said it, so it has to be true.
Anyway, we left my townhouse and Hasty had makeup on, and then by the end of the day, she had none.  Rain and sun and other factors dissolved it.  It’s a phenomenon that happens in life.  But maybe I just noticed the lipstick.  She’d start the day with lipstick and end it without.  I don’t know how much makeup she had on, I just know she has beautiful eyes.  But you’ve all seen them, those are real, more amazing in life.
Ok moving on.  If Hasty ever comes to visit you, please make sure she is happy.  She’s either very polite and will go along with anything, or she is genuinely easy going.  I got the impression that she is easy going, because I believe she was happy.  She’s sweet, smart, and has a great sense of humor, but be careful with her around your mother.  She grabbed my mom’s derrière.  That’s no joke.  But I’ll let her tell you about that.  She has a thing about asses I think because she was trying to photograph mine.
Also, there are brief “had to be there” stories that will be included in our posts, things like:
Apples to Apples, dropping muffins, cricket manifestations, lobster menstruation (we already talked about that, but this is how we referred to it), beaver anus juice (ummm there’s no way to prepare you for this), and Hasty quoted me as saying “breaking open the tail is my favorite thing”.  Can anyone guess what I was talking about?  It’s simple once you people clean up your filthy minds.
There was mention of “Goldilocks and the Three Little Pigs”, Christopher Walken, who HastyKid impersonates, Sponge Bob ice cream, and how the Dungeon Master could kick my ass.  We may or may not elaborate on those because they were in my notes and I don’t remember details so that will be up to Hasty if we cover them.  HastyKid, however, is the Dungeon Master.
All right, I’ll end my piece by showing a photo Hasty took of my gourmet pancakes.  They are gourmet because they are European portion size:
better pancakes
The pancakes are in front of the kiwi slices, look carefully.

ice cream at waldenhastykid and kitten

And here are a couple HastyKid pics that Hasty took.  One is at Walden Pond.  When we first got there, I was glad to see the ice cream man, so I didn’t starve them as much as I said.  The first pic is of HK with her ice cream at Walden, and the next one is her holding the “baby kitty” which will soon have a home at another neighbor’s.

HASTY:

I was asleep when Sage wrote this, in fact, I went to bed as soon as we got home.  We had so much fun and did so much in the few days we were visiting that our bodies were revolting.  HK and I were so at home and comfortable that we both fell asleep so fast and hard every night we were there. I felt so bad about getting the Sage family up to take HK and I to the airport but it was worth the goodbye hugs and kisses.  I kind of felt like a celebrity leaving, we just kept waving and saying goodbye. The goodbye was harder than I thought it would be.
I love your toilet Sage! I am surprised Sage never caught me in the bathroom.  I must have a small bladder but I just blame it on old age and since I sneeze a lot I tend to use the restroom every chance I get.  BTW I hardly sneezed at all in Boston.  Now that Sage mentioned it, I never saw Sage or anyone but Sage Jr use the restroom. I practically gave up on makeup since it kept melting off my face and ending up on my feet.  I am still dying about accidentally groping your mom’s tush.
Here are some interesting things about Sage:

Sage is so laid back.  It’s as if nothing really gets to him.

I could tell Sage had a kind heart but I didn’t really expect him to be as kind as his blog portrayed.  He is as kind, maybe even more so.  He saved us from countless spiders with the gentle flick of his hand and I don’t think ever once killed anything.  He always spoke highly of his son to strangers which seemed like some kind of super parent thing to do.  Sage’s son has Sage’s artistic talents with numerous artistic projects under his belt already.  He never raised  his voice, well except if someone couldn’t drive, and he had a way of making everyone smile.  I can’t wait to talk about Boston and how people just gravitated towards him.  It’s like he is magnetic or something.

I really did try to take a picture of his butt but it was more funny than inappropriate.  We wanted to get a few good body parts photographed to represent him so we joked about his butt.  HK laughed and said, “MOM Nooooo.”  He was wearing baggy camo pants so there really wasn’t a butt to be seen.

Here is Sage’s hand 🙂 Sage hand

You could tell he really loves Wifey Sage and that she loves Sage.  They are both so easy going and nice and, every now and then, they would steal or quiet hug or kiss.  Wifey Sage was beautiful and Sage is molto bello.

One last thing, that list Sage mentions above; is mostly because Sage is hilarious.  He has a very silly sense of humor and everything and anything can be funny.  I haven’t spent so much time laughing in a long time.  HK and Sage seemed to have this whole comedic skit going at times.  I wish I had taped them.

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7 thoughts on “LEVITATION, GROPING, AND BAGGY CAMO PANTS

  1. Reblogged this on "The Journal of Wall Grimm" and commented:
    I think I’ll let Hasty write the rest of the posts because I like the way she describes me, I sound like a pretty awesome guy. Thanks Hasty! Anyway, funny she should say she only saw Sage Jr. use the bathroom because we never see him use it. We’re always like, “don’t you ever go to the bathroom??” And it’s true, I get irritated by other drivers regularly and I openly voice that while driving. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who knows how to drive. Anyway, here is a post written by both me and Hasty. Hope you enjoy it.

    Like

  2. Sounds like this was a fantastic holiday and that two families will now be firm friends because of it. Sometimes, just sometimes, people turn out to be exactly like you imagine they are and the world just clicks into place at that moment.
    xxx Massive Hugs all round xxx

    Like

  3. Pingback: DECEIVING PALMS, THE X-FILES LOBSTER, AND BEAVER BUTTS | hastywords

  4. Pingback: A Bit of New England and Photographing Body Parts | "The Journal of Wall Grimm"

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