Today you will find me over at Johnny Ojanpera’s place where I apologize to an old friend.
I have tried a few times to gather the nerve to apologize but the thought of speaking my heart locks me up every time. I have the fear that, at this point, my apology will look like some sort of psychological manipulation to be a part of his life. It isn’t true but it is still something that keeps me from being proactive with my apology.
I had a great opportunity a few weekends ago to apologize face to face but I got nervous and had one too many to drink. Maybe I should take it as a sign. Sometimes apologizing isn’t simple because along with an apology is an expectation of being forgiven. I really have no such expectation. In fact, expectations where what ended our friendship in the first place. Often times, we don’t want the person to have to make the choice to forgive so the apology withers and dies with time. I can’t let my apology wither but instead I will let it fly into the cyberwind.
Would ‘sorry’ have made any difference? Does it ever? It’s just a word. One word against a thousand actions.~Sarah Ockler
Apologizing — a very desperate habit — one that is rarely cured. Apology is only egotism wrong side out. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., The Professor at the Breakfast-Table