FULL WITHDRAWAL

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I miss the way your words calmed me
How we used to write so eloquently
Blinking cursors dancing together
Creating symphonic stanzas in verse
I can’t do that anymore… ever….
Not without you anyway… never…
Because important pieces are missing
And nobody could ever do the replacing
For a short while you braved my storm
But that was all a fairytale
A made up dream come true
I let your ohhhhh’s follow my ahhhh’s
And somehow I felt the wind
Inside each lettered breath you took
Making me and my soul more complete
As our words flowed from mind to pen
I understood “in love” to be a feeling
It was a full out endorphined bliss
That carried me on its surging waves
And I let you pretend it was for her
Although I felt it was more for me
I wanted to contain the feeling
To make it last forever, like a book
Inside chapters meant for reading
Inside stories created for re-creating
Inside memories written to be relived
I was so crazy to feel it was real
To believe there was a another world
One where we could be free to be
But I learned worlds are connected
Every single one of them related
And a small insignificant ripple in one
Would be enough to destroy another
I am no destroyer, you are no destroyer
And although I failed inside my weakness
You were strong enough for both of us
With a steady retreating moral army
Under your willingly able control
I watch as you leave me, full withdrawal
Leaving me wounded with all my feels
Letting others stitch the emotional wounds
As you step fully back into your world
A place I never belonged
A place I will never belong
A place I never wanted to take you from
I just wanted to borrow a piece of you….
I was selfish
I am sorry

28 thoughts on “FULL WITHDRAWAL

  1. i feel a tormenting storm within! It’s just a written dream, not real life it seems? By and by Merry Christmas and a Brand New Year!

    Too you and family….

    Like

  2. (HUGS) Sometimes, we need to borrow something from someone else to see that something in our selves already exists. It is a hugest loss when the borrowed something is taken back but ….

    My Love I send to you.

    Like

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