THIS TIME I COULD

When I began blogging a few years ago I believed it would be a solitary journey.  I believed I would type some words on a screen, hit publish, and maybe feel content knowing the words might land someplace they were wanted and/or needed.  I never really expected that I would end up having conversations with people much less getting to know them.

Today’s guest blogger kept popping up on my Facebook timeline as someone I might like to know.  I had seen friends of mine commenting on her stuff and her commenting on theirs so I decided to get to know the pink glittery lips that kept passing through.  I used to be too shy to click the Add Friend but I have met too many amazing people not to.  I am so glad I met this blogger who is here today to share with us the moment compassion for another became compassion for herself.


 

BeFunky_4408176079_17d18bc564_b.jpg THIS TIME I COULD by Cinnamon

It was a normal day at work, and I was doing what I always do… talking to a patient about the work that our dentist had recommended for them.

This patient however, would end up touching my heart and reminding me yet again of how we never know the struggles that others are facing in their lives. This is because during this consultation, she begins to share with me that she and her husband have financially struggled for years.

Something I see often in my profession, is that when a family has money problems, dental care falls to the bottom of the list of priorities. Dental care for the Mommy….well that is flat last.

I can tell she does her best to take care of herself. She is in her early forties, with long wavy blonde hair and big blue eyes. I can tell that she spends a lot of time outdoors in the sun, which is typical of the somewhat rural area I live in. These are hard working folk and without a lot of financial reward.

Anyway, we are talking and she tells me that for years she has had chronic bad breath. She is so embarrassed about it that she constantly has gum in her mouth, and has refused to let her husband kiss her anymore.

She tells me that he tells her every day how beautiful she is. He still makes her feel desirable. He doesn’t understand why she won’t kiss him. He understands her reasons. He doesn’t agree with her. But he respects her wishes.

Finally they have a little bit of money put aside, and now it’s time to take care of her dental needs. Unfortunately by this point, her needs are well over ten thousand dollars worth.

At this point, she starts to cry. She tells me that she is so ashamed of herself. She knows that I would never understand what it’s like to not kiss my husband for years…. nobody would understand what that’s like. How that special connection is missing….

Only what she doesn’t know is that I DO understand. I understand so much better than she will ever know. My ex husband stopped kissing me after the first year of our marriage. I can’t describe that kind of pain….Only to say that his cheating hurt far less. Get the idea?

Well, she cries it out in my office and I go talk to my dentist…. He devises a very minimal treatment plan for her that takes care of all her urgent needs… this one comes to around $2500.

She and her husband can afford that. However, this doesn’t include a periodontal therapy treatment that she needs…. and that will go a long way towards correcting her bad breath problem.

The lowest price that I can take that to is around $600. I set her up for it and tell her it is included…. and then I paid for it myself. After she left, I closed the door of my office and cried.

I know that God put her in my path that day. Out of all the people in the world, she found the one who knew exactly the kind of pain she was in…. and this time, I could change it. This time I could help a heart heal. I could help love flourish.

I could help myself heal.

Sometimes compassion is what we give others. Sometimes compassion is what we give ourselves. Sometimes when we are very lucky, it is what we give both.

 

 


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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cinn, as all her friends now her, has been blogging about sex, submission, love and life for three years. Her blogs have been tools in her growth and healing after divorce, and have documented her recognition of her submissive desires, her exploration of her little side, and her search for love and Dominance.

She has lived a very full life, growing up with five brothers, helping and supporting the gender reassignment of her now sister, embarking on fours years in the Air Force followed by college, and ending a marriage to a man who fell out of love and cheated on her for far too long. Her resilience in picking up the pieces to make a new life for herself is inspirational.

At 46, she is an administrator in a specialized field with two dogs who are her babies, and is about to embark on a whole new chapter in her life, moving six states away from her home to be with the Real Deal, the Daddy who found her and fell for her before working to earn her love and submission in what is truly a D/s fairytale. (The everyday issues that plague all relationships notwithstanding.).

In this journey, Cinn will undoubtedly continue to offer her heartfelt opinions on sex, submission and the D/s Daddy/little lifestyle via her blog https://cinnamonandsparkles.wordpress.com/, as well as her general interests and thoughts via her “non-kink” blog, https://vanillawithatouchofcinnamon.wordpress.com/, and hopefully with some strategic prodding from her friends, she will also explore more of her poetic side, which is truly, quite beautiful.

(Bio written by Mel Douleur, who counts Cinny as one of her best friends.)

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17 thoughts on “THIS TIME I COULD

  1. What a beautiful, beautiful gesture. I’m glad you were able to give your patient such a beautiful gift, and that it helped you to heal, too.

    It tore at me when I read that you were so completely rejected by your husband. Felt that one very deeply indeed, and I’m glad (judging by your bio) that you found someone right for you.

    Hasty – keep ’em coming – these features are great 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Reblogged this on Freedom Hunter and commented:
    I’m so proud of her. But mostly I am grateful that she calls me Daddy. I want to hold her hand and shout to the world just how wonderful and pure she is. Her goodness pervades in ways I have never seen in any other person. She is humbly a noble person and spirit.

    Blogs have a naturally occurring filter. In other words we get to manipulate to some degree what we present to the world. But she doesn’t have to. She doesn’t have to convince or portray. Her true being comes through in an almost subliminal way. It’s what drew me to her the first time I read her words. And then to experience the real person……..

    I’m a very lucky man. She’s smart, little, kinky and has a wisdom and maturity from life experiences that make her my fairy tale. This re-blog is but one minuscule example……

    Liked by 5 people

  3. The best part of “this time I could” is the part where the universe always works to make sure you’ll be someone else’s “this time I could” next. On a side note – Introduced to two great “new-to-me” bloggers in one day. SCORE.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am so glad to see one of my favorite people featured here. Nothing about this post surprises me. Cinnamon is a special woman with a huge heart. She’s not just a glittery girl, but she’s the best kind of woman. I didn’t think it was possible to adore her more.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: This time I could | CinnamonAndSparkles

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