FIGHT BULLIES WITH VILLAGE LOVE

Me: Are you popular?

Her: No, but I have some great friends so I don’t care.

Me: Do you have popular friends?

Her: Yes I do and they are nice.

Me: Do you want to be popular?

Her: I am popular to my friends and I don’t need any more attention than that.

Me: You’re a pretty great kid you know that?

Her: Yep, I know.

I am a firm believer that my daughter has a better chance of defending herself against bullies if she learns to love herself, is confident, and isn’t afraid to use her voice.  In fact, I have to work equally as hard to make sure she doesn’t become a bully because she is so confident. I think most parents are so focused on making sure their kids aren’t bullied they forget that we can all be bullies without guidance in that regard as well.

Everyone has a back story and I would love if you took a look at this post my friend Sandy posted this morning.  I read How To Save A Life and was reminded of all the little kids who get written off as bullies because they are different or they don’t know how to handle their emotions very well.  We the village must always remember that patience and compassion are just as important as the armor we wear to protect ourselves.

As my guest, Lisa Thompson, beautifully points out we are all on an emotional roller coaster and being bullied sometimes feels like a ride that will never end.  This post is more proof that a positive community is key.  We can BE the village for everyone the bullies and the bullied.


FIGHT BULLIES WITH VILLAGE LOVE by Lisa Thompson

 

Did you know that 28% of U.S. students in grades 6–12 experienced bullying and 20% of U.S. students in grades 9–12 experienced bullying? And sometimes even past high school bullying continues.

I’m a 24 year old woman, trying to figure life out, trying to find out what Gods plan is for me, in the mix of that I have bullied. At 24 years old, I am still facing the same problems many children’s and preteens face daily.

The girl that is bullying probably thinks nothing of it because I may not be the only target for her words and actions. I never thought someone who I am not close to could affect my life in such a negative way. She trying has no idea how her words and actions have left me with sleepless nights, scared to attend events and very emotional. But the problem is she probably wouldn’t even care if she heard this.

bully

Recently, I have been volunteering to help a small group of girls with self image to help them understand their true value of confidence, self worth and finding the beauty in themselves. We recently had a discussion on feelings. As a group we discussed how it made them feel when others were mean to them, how they felt when they were mean to others and the feelings they have toward the pressures of everyday life. It seemed like every girl felt the pressure to be the popular one; to fit in and not stand out. They all wanted to be in the popular group. As we talked about their feelings and pressures bullying came up next and they talked about their daily struggles with bullying. My co volunteer and I looked at each other in awe as we couldn’t believe what we were hearing. You hear about this stuff all the time but I have never watched a multiple group of girls open up about it. It brought tears to my eyes. After our self image session we went down to the gym at the local recreational center to play basketball. As I was getting out the basketballs for my students to play, my bully walked by.

bullying

My stomach dropped as I waited for the harsh words and actions to be give to me. As I heard her mumble something under her breath, be dramatic and make me feel little, I had pull myself together for my group. As we started playing basketball and we were having fun, in the back of my mind I just couldn’t believe how affected by her actions and words I was. I then started to think about my students. They have to deal with the same bully every day, every day. I think about seeing this girl everyday and my body just breaks down.

I envy my students who everyday take the high road to face their bullies. It isn’t easy, I struggle with it daily. I can’t explain to anyone the importance of standing up for themselves but also in the correct manner because sometimes just being you and the nice person is all you need to do.

My story is one of many stories out there and mine is probably much smaller than most out there. I still to this day cry about the effects that bullying has had on me. At the age of 24 I am still experiencing it.

Please take the pledge to help stop bullying, for myself and for my students and for the world. It is truly an emotional roller coaster that is hidden behind the eyes of many people out there. We need to change this. Click here to learn more about bullying.

 


Lisa Thompson 6Lisa Thompson has a Communication/ and Public Relations degree from Michigan State and currently works at a Fortune 500 company. Lisa is a runner, a sports fan and has a passion helping others. Follow her at @lisathompson032 or her blog at www.selflovebeauty.com.

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11 thoughts on “FIGHT BULLIES WITH VILLAGE LOVE

  1. Oh Lisa, my heart is breaking for you. I wish there was a way for you to deal with this. If it’s someone you work with, surely there are policies in place against bullying. It doesn’t sound like she’s doing these things unintentionally…yaknow?

    BUT…HUGE KUDOS TO YOU for helping out with those young girls – for HEARING them, and helping them to explore their own feelings and experiences and to learn to become more compassionate. That’s such a selfless thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This makes me so sad. I am sorry that you have to deal with this, that anyone, anywhere has to deal with this. While I really don’t like the premise, I love that you are strong enough to come forward and share this story and to let people know that bullying isn’t only a problem for school aged kids. I know it was a bit of a surprise to read your age and imagine it, but then I started thinking about women my age, mothers in the PTA, the cliques and gossip….it really doesn’t ever stop, does it? Thank you for taking a stand and I, for one, stand with you. Heart and soul!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What makes some people bullies and other victims? I’m not entirely sure the potential is there for both. I was more of a victim, and my sister was more of a bully. In our relationship and in our relationship with others. We once had a relationship-changing car trip in which we hashed all that out, but I don’t know what started us both down those paths. Was it in our personalities? Or had I just become a victim to my brother and my sister naturally filled that role as well? Nature or nurture?

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    • It’s a good question with no easy answers. Too many factors and ever changing. I think we all have the potential to be a bully in some form to some degree but when it comes to more severe cases I think personality definitely plays a role.

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  4. I want so badly for you to stand up to that horrible person who continues to take out her awful anger (It’s always about anger- from within) on you. How dare she get away with it. I hate to see victims hurting under the abuse of others. It really evokes so much emotion in me, and your testimony of not only the girls you help but of you at your age suffering through this just gets me.

    I am SO sorry you have to endure this. I wish for you a strong tribe of support to nourish you and lift you and carry you through those experiences. May you feel empowered by those that love you and appreciate you, enough to rid yourself of any lasting affects this bully can have. Don’t let her win. She has too much power over you… take it back.

    HUGS!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s hard. I wrote a post once about being bullied and how those mean girls grow up and become mean women and mean moms. The bullying you see at PTA meetings between the parents is astounding. Bullies and victims – ugh. Hoping I can teach my kids they can choose not be either.

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