BEING BULLIED IS NOT YOUR FAULT

Today’s guest is Jake with Routine Dreamer.  I found him one day when I was trying to find a younger point of view.  I loved his blog and the things he chose to write about.  I love his attitude and his perspective.  Truly an inspiring teen!

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BEING BULLIED IS NOT YOUR FAULT by Jake at Routine Dreamer

*Buzz*
You have 1 new message.
“You look like a slut.”
________________________________________
*Buzz*
You have 1 new message.
“No one likes you, you deserve to die.”
________________________________________
*Buzz*
You have 1 new message.
“You’re a fat bitch, you should go kill yourself.”
________________________________________

Brutal, right?

With tech growing each second and social sites being built by the dozen – this opens up a whole new world for cyber bullies to troll and prey upon the vulnerable. Actually scrap that, not even the vulnerable, anyone.

That’s right, anyone can be bullied or abused however it’s how we deal with it that shapes the outcome from the abuse.

The problem I’m having a hard time understanding is the fact that still in this day and age, millions upon millions of children and young adults will wake up tomorrow morning with a text like one of the one’s from above.

(I actually tried to tone those down as best I could – most are far worse.)

Bullying absolutely sickens me.

The worst part is when a child has the guts to do something about it yet certain teachers and head teachers will just let it fester until it becomes a bigger problem. A child’s safety is priority, so when a child comes to you with a claim that they’re being abused, mistreated and threatened whether it’s on or offline it should be taken very seriously. But sometimes it isn’t.

I grew up in a school where bullying wasn’t too serious. The teachers could deal with it in a calm and formal manner and most issues were resolved, just as school should be. But when I searched Google for ‘bullying in schools’ the results that came up were very shocking.

The most shocking was the sheer fact a parent had to search on an online forum to seek advice because their child was being bullied yet the teachers did absolutely nothing about it. It’s horrible.

I’m not trying to knock teachers either, far from it. Many do good work, MOST teachers do good work in fact, with pressures of marking, teaching and creating exciting lessons it can be very stressful. But when a teacher brushes the priority of a child’s safety off because of the fact they aren’t caught up with some marking means that there’s something’s seriously wrong.

The consequences of this?

The child will wake up in the morning with a new text saying crude and revolting things, they will walk to school feeling scared and vulnerable again and again, shattering every ounce of trust they put within their teacher. The child will finish the day with multiple slurs, texts and abusive sayings hurled into their confidence. They’ll end up walking home feeling depressed, tired and worthless and over time it will eventually drain them.

They’ll walk through their front door after a long day at school and feel far too scared to talk to their parents. This is what makes the problem worse. When you’re left alone with your thoughts it’s bad enough however having your head filled with insulting and degrading comments each day must be horrendous. That’s the effects we don’t get to see, the pain it causes at home. The feeling of not wanting to talk and then being asked to “cheer up” because your parents presume nothing’s wrong.

Sure, down the line the bullies might eventually stop after reporting it multiple times to the teachers and head teachers however the long term effects can be very problematic throughout adult life. Depression is rife within each person alive today, that’s just my opinion. We all form ideas of being sad, tired and lonely at times. Negativity can live within us. Maybe some people will disagree with that but from speaking with friends I know that’s how all of us feel at times. It’s just not to an extent where it takes control over our daily lives and not to the point where we can label it as ‘depression’ but just the fact that these tiny thoughts can take over every once in a while.

Now, considering that – just imagine your daily life after going through constant torrents of abuse day in and day out. You can’t really imagine it. I can’t, I haven’t gone through it however I know just how horrible these thoughts can be. So to be getting bullied and to have to deal with this negativity must be a terrifying period of time.

But just remember, to anyone being bullied – it’s NOT YOUR fault. I seriously can’t stress this enough.
Some people can rise above it, some people just find their own ways to brush it off. I know of a few people who still struggle to make friends, feel positive after a day at work, all from a result of being bullied as a kid. The most precious moments of our life, trashed and made painful all due to being bullied.

The fact is bullying is tragic. We forget I think that bullying can kill. The words and actions you use towards another human have an effect on them that can make them feel like they’re worth nothing. The words used can make them feel stuck and trapped as if there is no one to talk to. There’s always someone to talk to.

I’ll post some links below that can benefit you greatly if you’re suffering from bullying. All can be done in confidentiality if that’s your wish.

But before I do that, I just want to say this. It may not help, it may be meaningless however I think it’s something that needs to be said. We forget to say these few phrases every now and then but I’m going to write it here today and hopefully it might help.

• You’re awesome.
• You’re beautiful.
• And you brighten someone’s day.

Now you may not be feeling like you do at this very moment in time but it doesn’t mean you won’t. It’s not your fault you’re being bullied. You don’t deserve to be bullied, and no one does. It’s just how you decide to handle it which can shift certain thoughts and feelings within yourself. It definitely helps to talk to someone, anyone. A stranger, a consultant, a member of your family. Heck, write it in a journal and just let it all out.

Just remember all those 3 phrases above are true. I never thought they were, when I was younger I would look into the mirror and think ‘man am I ugly.” I wasn’t though. That’s not me being cocky, that’s not me being overly confident, it’s just the truth. We all hold an inner and outer beauty and what someone may dislike is what another human will like.

Here’s those links:
http://www.childline.org.uk/talk/Pages/Talk.aspx
http://www.bullying.co.uk/
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect/bullying-and-cyberbullying/

Just remember, if you’re being bullied it’s NOT your fault.

You’re awesome, beautiful and you’ll brighten someone’s day.


unnamedI guess I’m stereotyped as that average ‘teenager’ of today – I watch Netflix, I moan, I watch more Netflix and I moan even more. Yeah, that sounds about right actually. Although I may not be able to get away with so much of that soon as I’m quietly approaching 20 – yikes!

But personally, I never really had a goal set out in life. I didn’t have that one thing to aim for. The whole idea of blogging was just an escape goat for everything else going on in my life. After months and months of blogging I’ve finally found a direction, I’ve found a goal to strive for and the only thing I can thank for that is blogging. That’s really me, I’m not a super human, I’m just your average teenager working his way through life, hoping that one day I’ll reach some form of happiness to share with all of my readers.

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