FINALLY HOME

I originally wrote this over a year ago but it never stops being true.  It may be the one thing I have written that has remained so constant.

Surviving depression is a journey.  You never quite feel like you are in complete control of who you are or where you are headed.  I used to be a backseat driver as depression bullied its way into the driver seat.  Now I am learning how to make sure I am driving. I may not be able to kick depression out of the vehicle completely but I can at least try to keep it in the trunk.

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She spent years

Climbing over

Rocks and weeds

Dirt and mud

Up into thinner air

Looking for sun

It was up there

Somewhere

§

The mountain

Was steep

But her muscles

Kept her steady

She had strength

That was her gift

A survivor

She would succeed

§

As the battle

Was fought

Raging below

She focused

Her sight

Beyond

The dark clouds

That blinded her

§

She helped

Other souls

Lost along the way

Encouraged them

Spoke to them

Held them

Showing them

Resting places

§

As she aged

She often worried

If she would ever

See this mysterious sun

But one more pull

One more push

One more step

Almost there

§

She began to feel warmth

Flood her entire being

As if a fireplace danced

Blazing lazily in place

Then she saw beauty

Colors she’d never seen

Sounds never heard

Evidence she had sought

§

She fell to the ground

In a luscious meadow

Covering the mountain

She relaxed listening

Feeling, breathing

And for the first time

She fell asleep knowing

She was finally home

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56 thoughts on “FINALLY HOME

  1. Hasty, this is wonderfully written.
    I share with you in this. It sucks, but it makes me more aware of mood shifts and triggers. Also, the importance (right now) of my meds…taking complete care of oneself. Health matters. Especially mental health.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is beautiful, Hasty. I travel this road with you so whenever you want a companion to travel with you, all you have to do is say so. I’ll travel with you.

    Like

  3. Great post. I know full well that when depression grabs a hold of you, it will always have it’s claws in. It’s how you deal with it. Which is never easy and you have to keep an eye as you know it’s going to come back at some point. You just have to be ready for it and smack it with a baseball bat 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. beautiful. and gives a very positive message to people gripped with depression.
    there is always light at the end of the tunnel – we need to keep going without giving up.

    Like

  5. “Overcoming depression is a journey. You never quite feel like you are in complete control of who you are or where you are headed.”
    Indeed!

    “I may not be able to kick depression out of the vehicle completely but I can at least try to keep it in the trunk.”
    I hope you get it! I gave up fighting against it. :/

    Like

  6. Just be glad that you do not have to deal with several self centered coworkers who are experts at emotional bullying along with your depression.

    Like

    • Unfortunately I have no choice in raising those walls and making them permanent for as long as I work there and yes I’m considering giving up the benefits to look for another job.

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      • Thank-you but with the way employers continue to treat their employees in this day and age the best I can hope for is an environment where I’m left alone to perform my job.

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  7. Great post Hasty. Keep on keeping on, just like me. Depression is a terrible thing and so hard to kick and people or the medical community don’t get it. Sending love to you. I loved your words today, they spoke to me.

    Like

  8. Show me the roaming fields of mountains never lost, out above those dusky sunsets where horizons stretch for miles, while listening to the warmth of wonder as our Sun reflects its slightest of thoughts thoughts upon the newest of moons, inside a starlit night. A picture I see as I read this Autumn eve.

    Like

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