I have come to think of the voices in my head as spirits. Demons, I suppose, that possess me until I exercise them and let them out. These voices are mostly evil and they tell me the most hurtful lies. I am thankful for my blog, for my readers, for my friends, for holding my hand during these exorcisms.
Blogging has become a sort of exorcism for me. The poetry, the stories, the pictures are all part of releasing these voices inside and giving them a place to speak. I think, for the most part, people relate to me more than I would have thought. But there are others that just don’t understand me or my blog.
You may have noticed pictures of me wallpapered all over my blog. Am I conceited? Am I proud? Maybe! I love to be creative and the only person I feel the true liberty to do that with is myself. I am not ashamed of who I used to be and I am not ashamed of who I am. I may not love what I look like but I am not ashamed.
I have never loved my image and some time ago I learned, without realizing it, to stop looking in a mirror to do anything more than look presentable. I mean I don’t want to walk around with spinach on my teeth. I also know I can sit and pick at my flaws for hours if I let myself.
Looking at pictures of my face is easier, they can be manipulated and they are 1 dimensional. When I write poetry there is a voice inside needing to be heard. That voice has a face… although the faces may look like mine they are merely reflections of how I feel. Manipulated pictures. Having said all this let me introduce you to the real me.
5 years ago
2 years ago
Now
I am just me. Nothing theatrical, nothing exciting, nothing to give two winks at. This is how I look and feel when I am shopping at Wal-Mart, just part of the human stew known as humanity. My husband knows the real me, he supports the real me. He puts up with the poetry and the images because he understands how it helps me to put the scattered voices together in some sort of organized thought.
If my pictures seem slutty, immature, degrading, conceited, narcissistic, fake, beautiful, happy, or whatever else they have been labeled then I guess, from the standpoint of art, I am succeeding. I would be lying to pretend I don’t have slutty, flirty, insecure, whiny, and depressed voices inside my head trying to get out.
Enjoy my thoughts or don’t it is truly up to everyone to decide on their own. Comment how terrible you think I am if it helps you sleep at night because I will keep exercising my creativity my way, I will let my voices speak because this is my place to do so. This is my exorcism.
I may have people that think I am distasteful or a mess (I don’t deny either) but I have so many wonderful friends I appreciate that except all of me. I really love the friends I have made in the blogging community and I value every one of your voices.
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.” ~Martha Graham
“It’s not all bad. Heightened self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing—they are not all bad. Those devils have been my angels. Without them I would never have disappeared into language, literature, the mind, laughter and all the mad intensities that made and unmade me.”~ Stephen Fry
“Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness. And they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy… or they become legend.” ~ Jim Harrison
“Soon madness has worn you down. It’s easier to do what it says than argue. In this way, it takes over your mind. You no longer know where it ends and you begin. You believe anything it says. You do what it tells you, no matter how extreme or absurd. If it says you’re worthless, you agree. You plead for it to stop. You promise to behave. You are on your knees before it, and it laughs.” ~ Marya Hornbacher
Daily Prompt – Wicked Witch
- Ego | Bright Moments Catcher
- My.Vivid.Visions | Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch – It’s Me!!!
- DP : Evil | Experimental Fiction
- Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch | Awl and Scribe
- Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch | Bizzimummy’s World
- Frosty Friday | Purple Rosemary
- Cruella Deville [Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch] | unknowinglee
- Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch | Under the Monkey Tree
- A Lesson In Good And Evil | The Jittery Goat
- Wicked Witch | Braised Pork on Rice
- Daily Prompt: Wicked WItch | WilderThing
- EVIL SPELT BACKWARDS | Standing Ovation, Seated
- Good and evil | Kate Murray
- Daily Prompt: Evil In The World Today | My Daily Prompt Blog
- Is There More Good Than Evil? | Creative Mysteries
- EVIL DREAMS | SERENDIPITY
- Daily Prompt; does evil exist, or is it all in our minds? | sixty, single and surviving
- Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch or some kind of EVIL | Words ‘n Pics
- Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch | lifebeinggirly
- EVILLLLLL | I’m just Super Saiyan
- Evil … and Good | Eyes to Heart
- Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch. Show us evil. | Complexity of Thought
- Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch | Death’s Opinions On Life
- The Nature of Evil | Fruit Salad
- Surfer Rob addresses the evil issue | Rob’s Surf Report
- The Wrong Path | Flowers and Breezes
- Zero Sense | Momma Roars
- Checks And Balances | Fish Of Gold
- We are the wicked witch….. and the cowardly lion….. | lizardsonthelanai
- Witch Tree: Poem | Just Visiting This Planet
- Good Intentions With Evil Consequences | Kansa Muse
- The Reaper’s Eye | vicariously in love with you
- Evil? Or just…painfully misguided? | Sai’s Notebook
- Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
- The Truth of Choice….(wp daily prompt) | Daily Observations
- Daily Prompt: The God of Mischief | Lead us from the Unreal to the Real
- Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch (Haibun – Salem) | Bastet and Sekhmet’s Library
- Being wicked is one thing – but being evil, well that’s a different story. | The Flavored Word
- Which Wolf Will You Feed? | sayanything
- Evil | mentalrollercoaster
- The Devil is in the Internet | tjbarkerseattle
- Cold Blooded Love | A.C. Melody
- Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch | Morrighan’s Muse
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/voices.html#RFtRUO1DgIc6x2oQ.99
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HASTYWORDS 
stay who you are, be true to yourself and keep doing what you are doing
your supporters will be here as will your friends
we all have our voices, our angels and our demons – they make us who we are x
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We love you as you. Plain and simple.
The haters see something in you they wish they felt in themselves. Why else would they bother to spew their venom?
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The eyes are windows to the soul. The way I see it the pictures you include with your remarkable poetry are just a glimpse into the many faceted person and wonderful soul behind those words. Keep writing for YOU Hasty. I am just so glad to have met you and thankful that you bring us all along on your journey with words.
Keep Inspiring
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You are beautiful. I will be truthful you were on the heavy side in your five years old picture but you simply look Devine in your two years one. Look after yourself and don’t let yourself go waste.
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I love your photos – i see them as a wonderful style of artistic expression. I always look forward to seeing what you will look like next:) I will never post a photo of myself – i have as a child or years ago, but i am neither brave nor do i like to see myself in the mirror and i just plain hate photos of myself. You are beautiful – do not change a thing, because if you were to – that would be a tragedy. I love Martha Graham – she was unique – she never conformed to any one thing – hell – she created her own form of Modern Dance technique – her own form, exclusive to who her. Amazing – and you are too:) xx
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Your smile is precious! I follow your blog thus I follow your heart! Keep writing always.
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Who cares about others?
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Eff the haters, Hasty. Keep on keepin’ on.
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Keep on going just the way you are, Hasty 🙂
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Thanks for the link back to my “Year Without Poetry” essay at jubilantmango.wordpress.com … Keep creating and expressing who you are! 🙂
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Your blog is exactly that – YOUR blog. You get to say and write what you want and post the pic you want. Your readers love you for your honesty and your passion, and would still love you even if you weren’t as beautiful as you are.
As for the haters… there are a teeny tiny minority who either get off on insulting others, or they just don’t realise how offensive and intrusive they are being. I know how easy it is for us to listen to criticism from others and from ourselves, but look how many hugely positive and supportive and loving comments are written on your posts – we love you Hasty :):) <3<3 xxxx
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Well said TRG. and yes we do Hasty……..
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I’m glad for your weight loss, but, really, how insecure can a person be to feel the need to post a picture of herself on every single blog post she makes? Are there not pictures of anything else you can find that would be more appropriate to the post?
It’s like you feel the need to show yourself off to the entire world. It’s a prime example of the vanity of the modern age. People no longer worship the old “God”, but they are not really atheists either because now they worship themselves (as false gods).
You have made yourself into a false idol.
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She is recreating herself in the photos as a medium of art. She is a canvas, a sculpture, and she shapes her image to embellish the voice of her poetry. That’s how I see it.
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Aw you’re the best 🙂
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I like your face and your thoughts… and the rest of you… but I think as we release demons in here, we might just be substituting them for new ones… ha!
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I really hope the way you looked was not what motivated you to lose weight. You’re supposed to lose weight in order to prevent a heart attack, stroke, or diabetes. The added mobility/agility makes life more fun too. If you focus on good health, you should have high self-esteem no matter how you look.
You’re going to eventually get old and wrinkled anyway. What good is obsessing over your physical appearance going to do you then? Exercise and healthy eating can only make you look so young, and plastic surgery will just make you look worse (not even human).
Resting your hopes and dreams in your physical appearance does not work long-term.
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The carnival to life, her theatrics they dance all through the halls. Quick stepping feet, no time to wait for another waking curtain call. Her voice is hers to let each worded song, find its groove inside one mind’s escaping run, Nothing truer than what reflections live in here. Just go ahead, ask her for a dance between the lines, and words, she’ll show you the places where voices rattle the broken cages of the many written worlds. Lit up stories, both dark and breathing, many just quiet alright. It’s the colours to her world, the colours to life born alive just speaking… A carnival to being alive, not just waking.
Just something that drifted to mind, it broke out in a few short moments… Hope the week’s a good one, and that chance rolls with opportunity. Cheers!
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I love people who are just out there and don’t worry about haters and judgers. I wish I could be more like that. Look forward to what you have to say.
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If you were a Christian, you also wouldn’t wear a low-cut top that shows cleavage, because you wouldn’t believe in tempting men with that distraction of sex, and you especially wouldn’t post a picture of yourself wearing such unnecessarily sexual clothing on the Internet.
(I am neither sexist nor a hypocrite in saying this because when I put on a normal, casual shirt, I wear a white undershirt that covers my chest up to my neck.)
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I feel the same way. I hv a mental illness and may blog articles and poetry are my outlet. Sometimes I sound crazy, seem conceited, immature etc but that just peoples opinions I do not care for I’m not trying to impress them I’m just trying to be me. Keep being you. I love your poetry and articles. I dont know you so cant say I completely understand you only that I like what I read.
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Yes i totally agree with you Hasty…. I am a call center employee and work’s in the night shifts from past 8 years. I am just 25 years old but look like 35+ coz of this night shifts. I’m felling sick, annoyed and a lot because of this job. but what to do I have to fill my stomach every day to be alive. But thank god call centers introduced me to internet and I have leant a lot from it one of them is blogging. I’m not good blogger but I’m starting my baby steps to grow in the blogging world. As am basically a music lover I have started a blog called Find the lyrics http://finderlyricers.wordpress.com/ and this become a stress buster for me. I’m really happy that you liked my blog and my hard work. I am hopping to get a good support from you and other readers in building my baby blog.
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Amazing! In all respects….inward and outward. I think society focuses way too much on outward appearances, but you look great and I know how hard it is to lose weight. I need to lose weight for health reasons. I’m probably about 25 pounds overweight. how did you do it?
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